Monday, July 18, 2005

It's been a too long time.

I'm striving to put my experience behind me, but it just won't let me go.

Yesterday, after a late lunch and while good friends were visiting I had another vaso-vagal reaction. It begins with a very uncomfortable feeling of pressure in my abdomen, followed by dumping and then hot and cold sweats. Finally, I have to sleep for a few hours to recover. I haven't got a handle on what causes the reaction and feel like I'm constantly susceptible.

Tomorrow morning, Dr. Parker will perform surgery to remove my port-a-cath. It is minor, out-patient surgery without general anaesthesia, but I'm still a bit edgy about going under the knife again. I have to be at St. Mary's at 6:30. Showtime is 7:30.

I'm trying to focus on reclaiming my former optimism. I think if I can get that back, everything else should follow. It's hard to do, though, when I'm still struggling to be finished.

2 Comments:

Blogger vkenny said...

Hi Jimmy, The removal of your port-a-cath is one more step closer to being you again, on the other hand this vaso-vagal twist sounds disturbing. I guess it would be similar to people learning to cope with any illness(asthma, heart disease etc...) it takes a while to get conditioned to your new condition, but it will come. I had a lovely visit with your folks this past weekend. The funny thing is, the older I get the more I appreciate the people in my life. Aunt Dottie is as warm and wonderful as ever, and Uncle Jim is as charming as ever(no suprise there)!! I think your optimisim will be back, maybe it just needed a little vacation. We will continue the prayers. Keep fighting the good fight!!!
V

2:48 PM  
Blogger Brian B said...

Jim

I don't know what drew me to your site just now, probably a reaction to my being too self-absorbed lately. Anyway, since your last post was 10 days ago, I take it as a sign that you are on to other things and reclaiming your optimism as you put it. As far as I'm concerned you are the most optimistic person I've ever known generally, and even when at your lowest point are still an inspiration. Why don't you bottle it and sell it.

Give a hollar anytime

Brian.

1:08 PM  

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