Thursday, May 05, 2005

New start

It is great to be home with my family.

I was discharged from the hospital yesterday around 11:30. We stopped at the Westbury Pharmacy on the way home to pick up my new medication.

Later in the day, I rode with Judy to pick up the kids from school.

This morning Judy and I cut all my hair off, again. It was falling out so rapidly that it was leaving a mess wherever I was.

I have a few challenges still to overcome:

  1. Gastroparesis. This describes the condition of my stomach. It has essentially quit doing the peristalsis (sp?) thing. There is no way to tell whether this is a temporary or permanent condition, so we're treating it as a permanent thing. I have to learn a whole new way of eating. Lots of foods are out of bounds, especially high fiber and high fat foods. In addition, I haven't been digesting dairy very well lately, so that is also out of the picture.
  2. Regaining strength. I am as weak as a kitten. To get stronger I need to eat, but there are significant limits on how and how much I can eat because of the gastroparesis. I also need to exercise, but to start out, I'm pretty much limited to walking.
  3. Reclaiming my self. Not quite sure how to go about this one. After 6 months as a cancer patient, a lot of my basic assumptions about what I can do and who I am have been drastically undermined. Somehow, I have to dig out of the hole.


Blogger vkenny said...

Hi Jimmy, There is only one way to get yourself back to where this all started...VERY SLOWLY!!! We can not emphasize this point enough. It took 6 months of having the crap beat out of you, it will take a while to get back. Please have the patience to take it easy and build up over time. We know exactly what you are going through
and what a long process it is, but remember you are CANCER FREE. You will feel better and better, every day you will be able to do more & more. Give yourself a chance to heal.

4:30 PM  
Blogger UisceBaGirl said...

Those all sound like huge challenges, but I wonder if the most daunting isn't the reclaiming of self. Theoretically after 40-some years you'd think you'd know who you are; but I'm guessing it just isn't that easy and something to take in tiny steps as you did with the fight against Cromwell.

I'm not sure why your description of this experience reminds me of a vision quest but I'm going to just put that concept out there.

9:14 PM  
Blogger cackmandu said...

Welcome home! Take life as it comes and no need to take giant steps. Hope you get better soon!

3:42 PM  
Blogger Tom Wolf said...

Petit à petit. I know you know that you’re still you, even without the hair, desired foods and strength, but it’s the (cosmic) vision thing being called into play. Painful, tiresome and very scary, but also pretty awesome. Undoubtedly hard to see, but you’re doing great, and we’re glad you are.

Love, Tom

5:32 PM  
Blogger Drew said...

Any chance that there are U.S. trials going on anywhere nearby for domperidone (Motilium)? Best I know it's not yet FDA approved, but it's widely used in Canada and Europe for gastroparesis. It mimics a hormone that stimulates the stomach muscles. Supposed to be few side-effects, so long as you don't have Parkinsons and aren't breastfeeding.

6:19 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

It was so great seeing you this past week Jim. You are so strong, and so wise and I am sorry to hear that there are still some obsticles. I'm wondering if Dr Evers has recommended nutritional counseling. It's great, I went to one when I was transitioning into veggie-dom, and she was a registered dietitian that basically helped you learn about eating the right foods for vous. Kinda cool. Anyhoo, walking is good too. But I'm biased and I say that if you can, SWIM! Swimming is fun, very lo impact, can create a gentle and womblike environment, and it's great because sometimes the swim team comes in and you get to see buff bods in those cute little speedos...anyhoo, hope you are gettin' stronger every day, and can't wait to see you again!

Jenn, John, and FiFi.

1:24 PM  

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