Monday, April 11, 2005


I'm feeling too well to sleep all day, but not well enough to do much of anything else either. I can't concentrate enough to read or even watch television, and I'm too feeble to do much in the way of puttering and chores.

The main actions of my day are eating and taking medicine, and bracing for a bad reaction to either.

Judy reminds me how much better I'm doing: No cancer, no pain, no nausea. But I'm completely at loose ends.

I made an appointment today, finally, to speak with a psychologist/counsellor. The best part of that so far was the call with him to arrange the appointment, and the phone call with the insurance company to organize the financial details.

I also completed and filed my long-term disability insurance claim today. It breaks my heart to think this will extend past 6 months, but with the most recent setbacks and consequent delays in my chemo, it is now a foregone conclusion, and the insurance should kick-in.

Judy is right, as usual, that things are better and improving, but I remain impatient and frustrated.

I'm devastated that I can't sing, though people who know assure me it will return.

My blog entries seem to be losing some of their earlier structural coherence. Wonder why.


Blogger UisceBaGirl said...


It sounds like you are still restless from the medication. I am hopeful that you can get past this annoying symptom with as much grace as the previous challenges.

In a way it does make me think of how one might react to anything else that goes on and on... you know, if a car or plane trip takes longer than you originally thought it would. Perhaps it's "Are we there yet?" syndrome? Or perhaps, "For the love of God, are we there yet?"

I think Judy is wise in her perspective - 'no cancer, no pain, no nausea' ... but I know you are just past ready to have things get back to normal.

Rest, and continue to heal.

9:53 PM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

Books recorded on cassete tapes are good when you're weak. Maybe they have some at the library, otherwise at the bookstore. They help the time to pass.

5:12 AM  

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