Friday, December 03, 2004

Fine, thanks. How are you?

I was surprised twice this week by contacts from friends who did not know about my cancer. One phone call. One e-mail.

You know how awkward it can be, under normal circumstances, when you ask somebody casually how they are, and they give you a decidedly uncasual and quite specific catalogue of their current ailments?

You want to be sympathetic, interested. Sometimes you even are interested.

But the thing is, you really just started out to exchange pleasantries, and you got drawn into something much more involved.

So, when I'm on the other side of this scenario, it's not easy to know how to respond.

I'm not talking about the cashier at CVS who asks how I am. She gets a conventional "Fine, how are you." These are actual friends that I just haven't been in contact with in the last month.

I can't really not mention that I've got cancer.

There isn't really a good way to work around to it gracefully, either. At least not that I've been able to figure out. -- " Oh well, you know how it is - the kids are busy, Judy's art is really going great, I've got cancer and we're thinking about getting a puppy in the spring."

Doesn't work. You've pretty much got to just lay it out there. And you have to do it early in the conversation.

Or in the e-mail message. That's a little easier.

Plus, I can refer them to the blog for the details.

Of course, now I'm trying to figure out who else doesn't know.

1 Comments:

Blogger Tom Wolf said...

Wish I had asked if you were playing Thursday night, and then brought the whole family to see you. I'll look forward to the next one, and hope it's soon. Love, Tom

P.S. I'm glad you're not a private person.

3:13 PM  

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