Friday, November 26, 2004

Mystery Train

Thanksgiving, done right, lasts at least two days, and ours has.

Yesterday, we went to Mass in the morning - my first bald appearance in public. We'd ordered dinner from Ukrops, so there was no real cooking to do, just warming-up. My parents, my sister and her family and my brother Dan and his wife all came for dinner. My other brother is in Dublin with his wife and sons.

Once you remove the burden of cooking, it really is much easier to have the party at your own home, than to travel to someone else's house, even just across town. You know where everything is. You don't have to worry about imposing if you want to slip upstairs for a nap. You pretty much have things your own way. Thanksgiving with my family has been great. We've also heard from so many good friends.

Today, I rode my stationary bike for ten minutes at a leisurely pace. We all went out to see The Polar Express, and I applied sunless tanning cream to my pate. This, plus the usual eating and antibiotic administration, made for a full day. I still find my energy level to be moderate at best and difficult to sustain.

I'm surprised at the sensitivity of my scalp to chills and drafts. I slept in a hat last night, and fully intend to do the same tonight.

I'm full of ambition for the coming week, my last before chemo round 2. I thought I'd feel more rising dread of the next round of chemo, but instead, I just want to get on with it. I suppose, there's plenty of time left for dread, but for now, my dominant mood is impatience. I want the cancer the hell out of my body, out of my life, and out of my damn way.

At the end of The Polar Express, the conductor tells the young protagonist that it doesn't matter where the train is going - what matters is deciding whether to board.

I think that misses it. We don't always get to choose the ride, just what we do while we're traveling.

Might as well enjoy the scenery and chat with my seat-mates. I can't drive the train, but I can make the most of the ride. Yes, I would like some refreshments from the club car. Thanks.


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